Hubby calls me at work to check on my day so far. He’s at home with the toddler.
“so things are going pretty —” bang. bang. bang. “well?”
“yeah, you know. The caddy ladies,” bang. bang. bang. “have shut their mouths for now.”
Bang. Bang. Bang.
“What is that?”
“Jonathan, stop that. Oh, he’s banging that figurine of that little girl with the baby on the table.”
“That baby is Jesus. He’s pounding Jesus into the table!”
“I didn’t know that was Jesus. Crap. Jonathan, stop slamming baby Jesus into the table!”
This reminded me very much of a similar conversation about four years ago. We’d brought Copper home only a couple weeks before. As a tiny puppy he’d snatched that same figurine from somewhere — I don’t know where — and took off with it. I chased him and he dropped the little girl with the manager, but the manager was empty. Copper took off again with me behind him.
“Hubby! Hubby!” I called (although using his real name, not actually Hubby! I leave his real name out of here for some slight semblance of protecting his identity. After all, I slam him so much I should at least offer him some anonymity.) “Catch, Copper! He’s eating baby Jesus! He’s eating baby Jesus!“
Hubby: “Copper, drop baby Jesus now!”
Needless to say baby Jesus survived that encounter. Hopefully he’ll survive toddler’s tendency to slam him off a table top or two as well.
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Click Humor-Blogs.com and give me some bloggy love ya’ll. It will keep me on the front page, but also you’ll find some funny blogs.
Click on some of the funny blogs on my blogroll too. May I recommend Rants and Raves, Burgh Baby, Everyday Occasions, and Unfinished Ramblings, to name a few!
Oh, poor baby Jesus. He doesn’t deserve that kind of abuse!
I recommend Rants and Raves. My brain is currently being eaten by a toddler who won’t go to bed and is fussing her way right through my quality blog writing time. I hate when that happens.
Jesus loves the little children! I’m sure he won’t mind getting his head knocked around a little.
“That little girl with the baby” HA! Men are so…uh,…funny, yea, let’s go with funny.
LMAO “drop baby Jesus NOW!”
I’m laughing so hard I’m crying!
I think I’m living the urban alternative to your life! Just this last Christmas, I was playing defense for the baby Jesus my hapless mother-in-law had set up on the floor (with manger and all) in front of the Christmas tree since my Sprite decided Jesus would be a perfect fit for Noah’s Ark. I finally (HAD TO, I SWEAR!) put Jesus on top of the liquor table to keep him from Sprite’s clutches and maybe subconsciously remind the adults not to embibe so much.
At least your little one didn’t try to eat hiM!
You see, this is why we blog, recording those conversations. That, and extorting $150K from out best friends for the return of a stuffed toy…
Oh! Between your post and Jen’ comment, I’m enjoying a much-needed laugh!
I could write a book about the things I find myself saying to my children. One day, and this is long… I apologize in advance for blogging on your blog. Elyse and Isaiah, just 12 months apart so they act like twins, where sitting next to each other in the back seat of the car. Elyse started screaming hysterically because her hand was stuck. I assumed like any mother to siblings that Isaiah was holding her hand captive. She was too upset to tell me if this was the case or not. I kept asking Isaiah if he was holding her hand and could he please let go. He would not answer me. I was getting more and more hysterical myself in my questioning of them both as I was trying to concentrate on the road and at the same time calm Elyse and find out if she was about the lose her hand like she seemed to think or if it was just a matter of getting Isaiah to let go. I was still not getting any answers out of any one so I said, “Isaiah, put your hands up so mommy can see them.” Nothing, he just stared at me. I repeated this a few more times, getting louder each time. Still nothing. It dawned on me that he might not understand the instruction. He is not prone to open rebellion. So I said a little calmer, “Isaiah, praise the Lord.” (I was raised in a non-denominational church where people often lift their hands to the Lord during a worship service. My parents use to say to me when I was little, “praise the Lord.” I would then lift up my hands and they would tickle under my arms. It worked every time… I was a bit of an idiot as a child apparently. This stuck and we now tell our kids “Praise the Lord” when we want them to lift their hands up so we can take off their shirt, etc.) I repeated this praise the Lord a few more times and received more blank stares. Elyse was getting more frantic, I was paying much less attention to the road then I was comfortable with and so in desperation I shouted, “Isaiah Justice, PRAISE THE LORD RIGHT NOW!” Eyes widened and two tiny hands shot up in the air. Elyse, of course, remained hysterical since she was still stuck and her brother had had nothing to do with it. I may have been responsible for hurting my son’s future “praise relationship” with the Lord but I was able to get to the bottom of things, pull over and get Elyse’s finger unstuck from the hole in the seatbelt next to her. Just one of many times I have found myself thinking… “Now that was a strange sentence!”
Holy crap Bloggling Brooks..way to comadere (however that is spelled) my blog…but a good funny way to do so!
I hope it doesn’t affect his future relationship with God either, but that is so funny! You’ll just have to tell him when he gets older why he should really lift his hands and praise Jesus — looks like he got a pretty cool mom.
Anna:
Glad to make you laugh
Jen:
That is hilarious!
PT: Agreed…and I think I’m upping it. She hasn’t responded to my demand.
Debbie:
Your comment is soooo funny. My brother read it and said he laughed so hard.
BB: Hang in there and I hope you can get some rest and some blogging time.
Jen:
Funny or dumb?
Melanie:
Glad you thought it was funny….but again…are men funny or dumb?
Baby Jesus is tough. He can handle it!
If Baby Jesus should ever take a final, terrible beating, I’m pretty sure he’ll rise and come again.
Just a hunch.
Wow, sis, I about RLMAO, but when I read the comments on top of it, especially Sarah’s, I am now dying here this morning. But also Jocelyn and well, all of you who commented. You all make my day.